Friday, October 29, 2010

Close my eyes....

I'm hurting for you today my sorrow has the best of me, I'm becoming unglued and I'm lost with out you. You don't know how much I hurt somehow I know you can see me. I believe it. Do you see me today? Do you get it? Do you? Where are you? I don't get it... It's not FAIR!!! I'm screaming Charlie it's not FAIR!!! How can I learn to be without you? You are everything to me and I'm not right inside. I'm Alive and your not.... I feel so helpless... damn it maybe it's because I came across the video you and Helen did pranking Gio and I finally fixed it and got it up on You Tube I remember the day you came up to me laughing and smiling and you touched my arm with those long beautiful girly hands and long black nails and said OMG mom you have to see this you grabbed me by lower arm and said come and look and the whole time you were giggling uncontrollably while I watched and I remember laughing so hard inside but seriously saying you guys are so bad why are you trying to traumatize your brother like that? It was a day I will never forget one of those days you truly were yourself again happy and giggling like a lil girl so HAPPY and now I don't have that all I have is my memory of that moment, that one priceless moment of your giggles and beautiful smile with the hair all in the face.. I want it back, I want it back so bad. I know I can close my eyes and feel you by my side but once they open I know that you are not by my side and so I choose for today to close my EYES and feel you by my side!!!
So Ms. Charlie let's be close today and I'l share with you the video you tried so hard to get up on You Tube..

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