Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Go to Girl!!

Charlie, ahhhh what can I say other than our go to girl is not here and everything is crumblin around me. I feel like this house of cards will be blown a lil to much to the left and it will be gone. I will have a serious lapse of judgment and I will no longer be the responsible adult I've always been, yeah something we've always had in common even though you weren't an adult you were a child!!!
Gio is missing you I mean beyond any explanation I could ever give him to make him feel secure and good. His go to girl is gone, his comic book drawings, pokemon cartoons and Vegeta comics/books are all falling on confuzzled ears and eyes. U were the one that drew him into all of that and he is so wrapped up in it.. He feels like that is his connection to you and forbid anyone to try and pull him away from it!!!
I've tried to explain to him to make him understand these are all ok but their will be days and moments where we will neeeeeddd a lil more explanation oh and he is good at explaining yup reminds me so much of you, it's scary sometimes!! he's only 8 and so misunderstood right now. I ache b/c I can't have you back with us!!!!
I know you'd so be scolding me right now for this but I totally feel like this right now anyone that gets in my way or says something stupid to me this is what they will get!!!

U know why he uses this finger, lol we tried and tried and to no avail it's just not working he loves that one so whateva, that's totally my mood and motto now!!!
Tia and Titi Ro will be going to the Ceremony with me at the beginnin of the month, damn damn what I would do just so I could have you here instead of the ceremonies, is that crazy talk maybe but it's just the mother inside of me talking, i know what my new reality really is!!
I miss you Charlie Warlie and a poem to describe how I feel without you, my love!

I just can't believe it...
...The sun still rises and sets,
The moon and stars still shine,
The flowers still bloom, The birds still sing.
I expected a change in everything.

I just can't believe it...
It still gets dark and light,
The ocean still has waves,
The rain still rains, The wind still blows,
Is it because they do not know?

I just can't believe it...
I thought the world would stop
When in my house I found
an empty chair, a missing smile
I thought it would stop For just a while.
I just can't believe it...

--Gretta Viney

nope I just can't believe it the world never stops no matter what!!!

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