Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Charlie, We went to visit Santa the other day w/all the kiddos and we took your picture with us so you could be included in the moment/memory. It was really sad b/c I knew that this was the only way I was going to be able to include you in our New Memories and the significance of why we had the photo and not your physical body :| So we go to take the photo and the photog says who's that in the picture it took alot to keep myself composed but I did it, I told him that's My Charlie, my daughter she passed 9.25.10 and we want to include her in these moments. He was like OMG i'm so sorry I didn't mean anything by it, I'm so sorry for your loss. I said it's ok i'm glad you asked and were just happy she can be hear in some way! I finished my photos and I walked away and below is what we took.

Yeah Tia Cesy was there w/the kiddos and we had a good time. I hope you like it!
Later that evening Cesy and I were talking about you we went into your room and I laid in your bed she sat on your lil stool and she told me something that I have been in my heart wishing for so badly. All I can say is that I pray one day that it will happen to me but knowing what I do makes me so happy and full of hope. I love you Charlie and we all miss you these days especially b/c it's the Holiday and your not around to celebrate with us but I take it one minute at a time and try to go with the mood of the kids, I don't want to ruin the moment for them, Yeah sad I know but that's how I play it in my mind so I go with it and I feel like it's something that you'd be pushing me to do, u know Yes I know you know. I miss you Charlie and i'll be waiting for that sign from you..
oh and before I go a poem I found I want to share!!
Time will Ease The Hurt <---- I hope so
The sadness of the present days Is locked and set in time
and moving to the future is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now So vivid and so real
Can't hold their fresh intensity As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes A little less from day to day.
Nothing can erase the painful imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories that time will let you find.
Though your heart won't let the sadnessSimply slide away,
The echoes will diminish even though memories stay.


  1. Dear Charlie,
    I went to hot topic and saw a jack skeleton ring set. One of the rings were missing. Good thing though, it wasnt the jack ring missing. I bought it and I wear it all the time. I miss you girl and I think of you everyday. On the side of the ring it says "meant to be"... makes me think of meant to live by switchfoot.
    Im playin it for you right now.
    Rest In Peace.
    I love you.

  2. Awww, Mary. I'm so sorry she wasn't physically here with you for the holidays...

  3. Mary I read about your loss back in October and I was so incredibly sad I didn't know how to process the information. I am so very very sorry for your loss. You opened your home to your viewers with your art and made us care about Charlie almost as much as you do so we miss her and cry for her and your family too. Hugs to you- bringing her photo along to the Christmas portrait is a great idea.