Thursday, November 18, 2010

Wretched Mood

I wanted to Thank all of you for reading and commenting on my posts this one is very heartfelt but needed to be said!

Dear Charlie, I have been in the most wretched mood and with that said I know that I needed to write this letter.
I separated from my Charlie's father when she was about 6 mths old.. We have never had a good relationship and when my Charlie was in the hospital he came b/c I called him, I don't even remember what I said. I let him stay in my home b/c my husband now is such a wonderful and caring man like that. Once she was gone everything was done with life choice, we said our last goodbye's I came home exhausted, drained, numb and mind GONE!!! I was told he came woke me up b/c I was so tired I just plopped myself on the couch and that's where I stayed and he said, ok I'm leaving yadda yadda yadda...
I didn't even remember that!! He didn't stay to discuss funeral details, hospital costs.. NOTHING it was like oh well your her mom TAKE CARE OF IT did he say it out loud NO but that's what I felt!
That brings me to today she never wanted her father around or to know of her issues she loathed him and she had her reasons he would get drunk and demean her and mentally abuse her making her feel guilty for her choice to live with me and not him a real piece of work he is. I only say what she told me once she started going to therapy and refused to go visit him again in Florida.
So the day of the funeral at her memorial service he promised to contribute at least half of the funeral cost to this day almost 8 weeks later he hasn't even covered what he said he would and then he has the nerve to ask do I need any money to cover the hospital costs. What the fuck are you talking about?????
I am so pissed and bitter that every other day I've had to remind this man that he has an obligation and he has not fulfilled his promise he made at her "funeral of all places "and in the nicest way possible. I stopped more than 2 weeks ago he's not a child, he doesn't have memory loss, selective maybe. I was just tired and getting stressed out but now I seriously want to write him a letter letting him know that I am beyond upset with him and why in full detail. My dh has asked me has he taken care of anything else no he hasn't it's just beyond my control who knew this would be something else on top of everything else that I have to deal with. I told him I am not beggin for a hand out this is his daughter his responsibility as much as mine. Your papi said to just let him take care of the rest we don't need anything from him I told him no absolutely not he offered not that he had to b/c it's his obligation in my eyes, I said she did not go off to college and needs her tuition covered this is serious she died she's not coming back!! Could he F'in MAN up already!!! WTF!!!
Bitter right now is a pill that I've swallowed hard and I know Charlie you and I have discussed some matters re your dad in detail so I know you'd support me right now in validating my feelings regarding this matter :| The excuses are void right now just plain VOID!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment