Friday, October 15, 2010

Lit a candle

I went to light a candle for you today Charlie.

It's been a very hard day for me. Last night I went to sit in your room and I started to look at all of your clothes, your unmade bed, your journals that I could never bring myself to read what would I find inside of them would it be all good or all bad or both? I can't I need to remember you the way you were and anything you didn't share with me while living well I guess it's because you didn't want me to know, right! I am going to find a nice box to decorate and put all of them in it and mark it Charlie's Private thoughts and put it away. OK
I got a card today from the CHR Director today sending her condolences and one from Judy your counselor, they were calling for over a week but I couldn't pick up the phone so I ignored it and of course my voice mail is full so they couldn't leave a message. I also got a lovely card from a stranger she sent me a check to help out w/your Memorial Fund that was really sweet and it made me cry. I showed Nelson and he said we have to send her one of your Memorial cards so she'll see who you really are :) He misses you so much and you know your dad he's dealing with it in his own way but constantly trying to make me do something.
I went to your COL Memorial on Tuesday at the HS and I fell apart when I saw the chorus and everyone else wearing your fav colors. Your face was up high on the projector and all of your photos were up on the tables, red and black balloons, Jack blanket and your fav of all pumpkins. I cried through the whole slide show, poem reading and the chorus's song. It's a beautiful poem the librarian wrote it just for you, he misses you coming in to bug him about books and all that brainy stuff you did in there! I'll post the poem tomorrow for ya, K

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