Charlie girl, It's going to be 11 mths soon since you left us and I can't say that my days are any better. They say that the feelings of loss get softer but I'm not sure when that's going to happen. I'm back to my sleepless nights...
It's crazy how the every day normal never effected you before but now they do. I see an ambulance w/the lights on and rushing by me and It brings me back to that horrific night. I often wonder if mistakes were made, if I should go and ask for your medical records no matter the cost. It's something I think about often you know it's like that lil devil and angel on opposite sides of your shoulder saying why now, why not? siggghhh I tend to be in a car driving so I try to stay focused and push the emotions back way back into my mind it helps until it happens all over again :/
You know we went to Seaside Heights the other day and OMG all of these memories came swarming back into my head, it was crazy here i was sitting on the beach on this beautiful windy day and I was crying just the smell of the beach wow it did it to me. I thought of so many summers we spent down the shore and when you begged to go into the casino with me in Atlantic City and I gave in and they kicked us out right when we hit the floor, I lol afterward b/c that was a moment I had totally forgotten about, i mean you were lil like 7 or 8 and finally I could remember something. Yeah thats one of my problems my memory is not all that great, it sucks and then again it's ok not sure which way to sway i guess it mainly depends on how I'm feeling!
and I just had to share this flashback photo, wow this is priceless to me!!! You were always so cute and everything fit you perfectly.. I miss it, miss it allllll soooo much Charlie girl!
It's crazy how the every day normal never effected you before but now they do. I see an ambulance w/the lights on and rushing by me and It brings me back to that horrific night. I often wonder if mistakes were made, if I should go and ask for your medical records no matter the cost. It's something I think about often you know it's like that lil devil and angel on opposite sides of your shoulder saying why now, why not? siggghhh I tend to be in a car driving so I try to stay focused and push the emotions back way back into my mind it helps until it happens all over again :/
You know we went to Seaside Heights the other day and OMG all of these memories came swarming back into my head, it was crazy here i was sitting on the beach on this beautiful windy day and I was crying just the smell of the beach wow it did it to me. I thought of so many summers we spent down the shore and when you begged to go into the casino with me in Atlantic City and I gave in and they kicked us out right when we hit the floor, I lol afterward b/c that was a moment I had totally forgotten about, i mean you were lil like 7 or 8 and finally I could remember something. Yeah thats one of my problems my memory is not all that great, it sucks and then again it's ok not sure which way to sway i guess it mainly depends on how I'm feeling!
and I just had to share this flashback photo, wow this is priceless to me!!! You were always so cute and everything fit you perfectly.. I miss it, miss it allllll soooo much Charlie girl!
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