Charlie my love the days it seems have gotten easier but only for a brief few days...
I did so many things this weekend and the whole time I had mixed emotions and thoughts all over the place. I was told about Participating in an Angel Tree- It's where we find someone by the same name of the person we lost which would be you my love Charlie or the same age, sex whichever applies. So I took the kids all by myself to see Santa and to visit the mall where we found The gifting Tree..
The kids and I didn't find anyone with your name but we did find a 17 yr old female so we decided that was good enough to serve our purpose. I honestly didn't think I could mentally do it, go shopping for someone who wasn't you, who wanted something girly and so not you but it was in my heart that I had to carry out this mission we had set upon and we did it. I thought the whole time you were by my side saying ewww mami NO that is not cool, that is so ugly, who would want that, yeah I did until I found one that I knew you and I would agree upon :| and I snagged it and ran to the register not giving it a second thought and while I wanted to break down and cry b/c I was so consumed with emotion. I didn't I held it together and asked the kids what do you think of our purchase, they said yeah I liked it and I know Charlie would. So that was enough for me we all hugged and got ready to leave the mall...
While all this was such a somber moment I know we did a good thing for ourselves but most of all for the other child in need, I know you'd approve lovingly.
I miss you so much and just thinking of the days to come, I'm trying to be strong.. I feel like you've come to me these past few days and given me energy and strength to get by, I hope this continues because by God I need it :| I miss you...
Here's a photo of the kids by the tree
I did so many things this weekend and the whole time I had mixed emotions and thoughts all over the place. I was told about Participating in an Angel Tree- It's where we find someone by the same name of the person we lost which would be you my love Charlie or the same age, sex whichever applies. So I took the kids all by myself to see Santa and to visit the mall where we found The gifting Tree..
The kids and I didn't find anyone with your name but we did find a 17 yr old female so we decided that was good enough to serve our purpose. I honestly didn't think I could mentally do it, go shopping for someone who wasn't you, who wanted something girly and so not you but it was in my heart that I had to carry out this mission we had set upon and we did it. I thought the whole time you were by my side saying ewww mami NO that is not cool, that is so ugly, who would want that, yeah I did until I found one that I knew you and I would agree upon :| and I snagged it and ran to the register not giving it a second thought and while I wanted to break down and cry b/c I was so consumed with emotion. I didn't I held it together and asked the kids what do you think of our purchase, they said yeah I liked it and I know Charlie would. So that was enough for me we all hugged and got ready to leave the mall...
While all this was such a somber moment I know we did a good thing for ourselves but most of all for the other child in need, I know you'd approve lovingly.
I miss you so much and just thinking of the days to come, I'm trying to be strong.. I feel like you've come to me these past few days and given me energy and strength to get by, I hope this continues because by God I need it :| I miss you...
Here's a photo of the kids by the tree
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