Remembering Charlie Gonzalez

Charlie, My Love

I think of you and my heart races my chest hearts and I get weak literally. I find myself looking at your pictures everyday every single day I look at your pictures and
I wish things were different.
I wish I could change things,
I wish I could have just one more hug,
I wish I could smell your hair when you flip it,
I wish I could see you smiling on the couch,
I wish I could see you walking out the door to catch the bus,
I wish I could see you playing with Mason
I wish I could see you reading your books
I wish I could see you sitting at the computer
I wish I could see you walking off of the bus
I wish I could have you sitting next to me in the car
I wish I could have you walking along my side in the mall
I wish I could have you talking my ear off while i'm cooking
I wish I could see you jammin out to the radio
I wish I could hear you telling the kids to stay of your room
I wish I could see you driving off with your friends in the car
I wish I could have seen you giddy about your license
I wish I could hear you having those meaningful talks w/your siblings
I wish I could feel your hands in hair massaging it
I wish I could see your face when you walked in after school
I wish I could hear your complain
I wish I could have you here for my pedicures, I'm due for one!
I wish for so many things in my heart, yet my mind tells me it will and can never be :(
I tend to always go back to these pic's when I'm down well these are some of em but these are more like the one's in my mind I go back to and wonder is this how it was for you? When you left us did you walk off into a cornfield, clouds, open field, water, blinding light? I will never know until we meet again and we can discuss how it was for you for now this will be my interpretation of when you left us.
I love you Charlie and I'll continue to wait for a sign...